So I’m planning a huge surprise visit home. FOR CHRISTMAS! I am beyond excited which is why I felt the need to write this post. It’s the only thing keeping me going during my 3 months of slavery aka regional work. 

Now as its a surprise, I can’t make this post public until the 24th of December for obvious reasons.

Initially my parents wanted to come over to visit me in February which I was thrilled about, but the longer I’ve been here the more desperate I am for some home comforts. I miss my friends and family a ridiculous amount and it’s time I spent some quality time with them (not to mention my wardrobe, parmos, Taddys, my Mum and Dad’s hot tub, their sofa and general hotel of a house.) 

Ten days in November last year just simply was not enough. So I decided I wanted to visit home and what better time of year than Christmas. 

Usually I am the world’s biggest Grinch. Just the thought of a premature Christmas song would normally turn my stomache and I never did understand those that started gift shopping in September. This year, I’ve already listened to the Pogues twice and considered watching Elf/The Grinch on numerous occasions. I’m a changed woman! 

Last year was a breath of fresh air celebrating Christmas in Asia. None of the build-up bullshit, materialistic, commercial crap. Just a no-frills good old piss up that led to me waking up at 4pm on Christmas Day wondering whether Eddie Stobart had mowed me down on Legian Street in Kuta.

It didn’t even feel like Christmas, which was nice for once (until I facetimed my family whilst they drank mulled wine in the kitchen). 

So I’ve experienced a crazy Christmas abroad by the beach and now I’m ready to enjoy the holidays with my loved ones (in the cold. *shudders*) Coming from Australia’s summer to the UK’s winter is going to be a shock to the system to say the least. I’ll just have to drink plenty of gin to keep me warm. There’s always my parents hot tub too, hehe!

My Mum and Dad don’t have a clue, they think once my second year visa is signed off that I’ll be heading to Perth with Kerry and Ludo to celebrate Christmas with Kerry’s Godmother, Lesley, and the rest of Kerry’s family. Little do they know that come Christmas Eve I will be turning up to the Anchor, a quaint little old man’s pub in my home town, to enjoy some (lots) of festive drinks with them after over a year of not seeing them. I cannot wait to see their faces as I walk through that door. Priceless.

My two best friends from home, Jodie and Ellie, have no idea either. I just need to work on getting them to the Anchor, for Ellie that shouldn’t be too difficult but for Jodie the Anchor is probably the last place on earth she wants to be on Christmas Eve, especially if she thinks I’m at the opposite side of the world. Jodie just recently got engaged so I can’t wait to talk weddings and girly shit over a Teesside parmo and some well over due gins!

The surprise was supposed to be for my cousin too, Emily. My absolute soul sister and all round best friend ever. We’re like sisters. She’s arranged to go to York to spend Christmas with her Mum, Step Dad and Step Sister and family though, so I had to spill the beans to her. So she is going to try her absolute best to be there to watch the blood drain from my Mum’s face too. It’s going to be just like Christmas past. Turkey hats, copious amounts of Taddys that will inevitably end up with shots of Golshlager in the Priory Bar. 

Then there’s my Nanna (on my Dad’s side) who has no idea either. She will wake in my parents’ house not knowing that I’m incredibly hungover in the next room having travelled 30 hours to spend Christmas with her. I just hope she doesn’t have a fucking heart attack, that would be a serious anti-climax. I’m excited to watch her have too many glasses of red, get lairy around the dinner table telling terrible Christmas cracker jokes. 

Apart from those five, everyone else is in on it. Mainly because I can’t keep my big mouth shut but also because I need people to make sure they’re available. It feels like it’s going to be the Mother of all Christmases I just hope I don’t drop myself in it. 

Not only will I be spending quality time at home with my family and friends from my home town, I also plan to do a UK tour to catch up with all of my friends from university and my friends I met in India in 2010. We’re all still very close even though I’m thousands of miles away. On top of this, I’ve booked a weekend in Dublin to surprise my Mum and Jodie for their birthdays and Emma, my friend from India, will be turning 30 for which we have a weekend in London planned! There is so much to look forward to and I can barely wait. It’s going to be so refreshing  getting glammed up and heading out partying in something other than denim shorts and Birkenstocks. 

So there is just 7 more weeks of farmwork, then a further 6 weeks in Australia until I fly home and I’m like a kid at Christmas already!  Two months at home is exactly what I need. Bring on the surprises, booze, partying and mulled wine induced festivities. It’s going to be fabulous. 


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