Actively Searching For An Australian Husband

Take a bow Britain.

I’m not even going to go on about Brexit anymore because quite frankly it’s still too raw for me to even discuss it. All I will say is it’s a terrible shame that we have withdrawn from a union with our European neighbours and broken over 40 years of unity. I am genuinely heartbroken and embarrassed to be British.

But ‘we have to accept the outcome of a majority vote’ (fuck off if you think 51.9% is a majority).

Which is why I am actively searching for an Australian husband. Okay, so I’m not, but I think I want to live here.

Sponsorship or marriage are my only two real options here (not having a trade/career) and seeing as I’ve only ever worked in hospitality/admin, sponsorship isn’t looking too promising. You can get sponsored in hospitality if you’re a manager but quite frankly, hospitality can fuck off.

So really, it leaves me with falling in love with an Aussie, which I’m okay with.

Now, where does one go about meeting ‘the one’ because he certainly isn’t Monsoons or Shenanigans which is where I seem to spend most of my time at the moment. Kerry and I seem to have a healthy balance between work and play.

  • Go to work 7am-11am,
  • Come home for a 4 hour nap
  • Work again 5.30pm-10.30pm
  • Go out, get white girl wasted, dance on the stage at Monsoons
  • Roll in at 4am
  • Repeat (with a brief ‘night off ‘ the drink, every once in a while)

My body clock is damaged to say the least (so is my liver).

‘I’m only going for one.’ Kerry and I with our friend, drinking buddy and colleague, Steff

​​Kerry getting pushed home in a trolly by Noo Noo (Ludo)

Watching the France V Ireland match with the French (and Irish Chris)

Darwin is brilliant. The night life is second to none.

We will be genuinely sad when we have to move on and say goodbye to all the amazing characters we have met here. We’re already considering coming back next dry season if we get a second year visa as I’m sure the hotel would have us back. I certainly wouldn’t settle in Darwin permanently. Not only does the wet season sound like it’s too much to handle, if I were being a normal member of society with a ‘proper job’ I wouldn’t be going out as much as I am now and there really isn’t much else to do in Darwin! It would get quite boring pretty quickly.

But for now, it’s absolutely bloody brilliant (even if my organs are telling me otherwise!)

Australia as a whole is just fantastic. The lifestyle compared to that of the UK is just so much better. I spend a huge proportion of my time outdoors, whether it’s sat around the pool at the hostel, walking around the city, down at the waterfront or Mindl beach, I’m always outside. (That’s when I’m not sleeping or at work of course.) Even our kitchen at the hostel is outdoors.

Don’t get me wrong, there is nothing more appealing to me than snuggling up on my parents comfy corner sofa, fire blazing with a good movie on the TV, but it gets boring when that’s all you do day in, day out. Here I don’t think I could ever get bored, there’s so much to do outdoors. I’ve spoken to a lot of ex-pats who now live here in Australia and they have stressed to me how their lifestyles have changed for the better since moving to Australia.

The big question is, could I move to the opposite side of the world away from all of my family and friends?

Now that’s something that pulls at the ol’ heart strings.

I’ve always joked on about moving to Australia but now I’m actually considering it, I get a lump in my throat about being so far from my loved ones.

‘You can go visit!’ is a response I get quite often. Going to visit isn’t quite the same as popping round to your Mum’s on a Sunday for a roast though is it and when I eventually decide to have kids, who will babysit?!

There’s a lot to consider and a lot at stake.

One major factor  that will make up my mind is the state of the British economy. If it all goes down hill after Brexit and my generation are left up shit creek (again), there’s not a chance of me returning home.

So, if you’re a young, eligible male, preferably with a bit of cash as I’m broke (you don’t have to be rich), please get in touch.

I can cook, clean and am toilet trained. I just need a loving home.


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